Online Dating

               In lab we explored the topic of online dating sites and the style of online dating. This was a first for me; even though online dating has become much more common with the modern use of technology I have never tried to experience it. As we went through creating the online cupid account some things surprised.

               The format of the account was very in depth, there were a lot of questions to form criteria that I did not expect. For example drug and alcohol use to “Are you a dog or cat person?” There were also different varieties of profile picture of people, I also asked myself what were the reasons that I have never really thought about online dating. Besides the tinder app for smart phones which is popular among younger people and on college campuses, none of my friends that I know of have ever creating online dating profiles. I have always associated online dating with a negative persona, but as it becomes more common I guess the general population has stepped away from this. The main reason I feel this way might be because of the negative things we hear on the news about meeting people online and TV shows like catfish. Personally I would rather find someone the normal or old fashioned way like meeting a girl in a class or at a party or through a mutual friend. In a way (which might be wrong of me) I’ve associated online dating with being desperate or lack of social skills. Throughout this class more a more positive side of online communication has been touched on rather than negative, as I went through the questions and criteria for the profile it seemed as though so many things had already been answered so I thought what would there be to talk about if I were to meet this person face to face? They already know so much about me. I also thought how much of what they have advertised is true? If I would go meet someone what are the chances that they really are who they say they are?

               I am also in a way against putting a lot of personal stuff online, because anyone who really wants to do some digging could find information on you. Personally facebook  has lost its novelty for me and many others, I have not put a facebook status up in probably over a year. Even on twitter people rarely use their real names to show up on a feed. Since facebook interest seems to be fading it makes me wonder if online dating will continue to grow for the general population, fade away, or only grow for a certain group of people. It was an interesting lab to see how the online dating system works, but I do not see myself ever using it for myself.

Online Dating Isn't Weird?

When thinking about online dating, I am not sure of my feelings towards the process. I am a strong believer in face to face communication and relationships that are built from common friendships, situations, and interests, so I am skeptical about the whole idea of meeting someone based on carefully formulated and edited profiles online. However, I do believe that online dating creates an outlet for people to find those connections, and act upon them in order to foster new relationships that they would not have found before.

Although I am turned off by the way eHarmony approaches love as a math equation, I do think that this algorithm is successful in matching potential partners. Their website takes a clear "logical" and "numerical" approach to something that I find very intuitive, but I do think that the success rate shows that their approach does work. 438 people get married every day in the United States because of eHarmony. EHarmony advertises that compatibility is the core focus and intent of the site. Former CEO Greg Waldorf stated, “It's not about matching people who like certain hobbies … it’s about compatibility. You go on to the site and tell us about you, rather than about what you want.” (http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/industry_sectors/technology/article48) It makes sense to me that relationships are suggested based on compatibility instead of registered members formulating a check list of a desired partner. The intensive survey on eHarmony is designed for people to take the process seriously. Unlike tinder, which is a site based on attraction and first impressions alone, sites such as eHarmony, match.com, and okcupid use a questionnaire matching system that connects people based on their personality, interests, and qualities.

The more research that I have done about online dating, the more I have warmed up to the idea. I suppose that it makes sense to meet someone in an atmosphere where we spend so much of our time. It almost seems less likely to begin dating someone that we bump into at a bookstore or cafe before than meeting someone through social media through mutual friends. Here is a fun video of why we should be more open to online dating and the normalcy of the process. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fM7Fj1DTmU

Online Dating

There are so many different opinions on online dating, it's a very controversial subject. Some people think it's good, some thinks it's bad, and some people think that some sites are better than others. I am one of those people who think that this online dating can be good when using the right site. In class when we watched the documentary on online dating it was very interesting to me to hear all the different stories of these people who have actually used these sites. The one that stood out to me the most was the one where you made an avatar and went into a virtual world and basically became a different person, to me that wasn't online dating. This woman avatar didn't fall in love with the man behind the screen she fell in love with the avatar he was using and making himself be, this also isn't an effective relationship because they won't be able to get themselves away from the virtual world even if they were to meet up one day, they may be disapointed in the differences they see between real life and virtual life.I just personally don't have good opinions on online dating and I don't think it's an efficient way of dating, it may be a good way to meet people but actually trying to begin a relationship this way isn't what I think is best.
     I found a really good article that breaks down exactly the differences between each of the different online dating sites. http://web.spotcoolstuff.com/best-online-dating-sites
     From this site I have conducted that personally the best site for me would be.......none of them I decided that after being able to break them down the only one I would use would be eHarmony, and that's only if money was no object since it has a pretty steep monthly price. But I really like that they give you a lot of different questions to really match you with someone who is like you and that you would get along with and actually could establish a real connection based on shared interests. In class we discussed the importance of shared interests when it comes to online dating and I really feel that's the only way that a real relationship can be established and that's why sites, for example Tinder, because they are mainly based on attraction level because the only things you see at first are their picture, age, town they live in and their name.
    I am personally skeptical that you could find someone who you are compatible with just by seeing a profile and I found an article that backs that up and also highlights the weaknesses of online dating, which in my opinion is more than the strengths. http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientific-flaws-online-dating-sites/
     If I were to suggest something it would be to make a new site altogether that allows you to make an extensive profile, with many many questions to be able to narrow down your matches. These profile would also have their favorite places and would be set up for the sole purpose of finding people you don't know to meet up but that's it, it would not be used for relationship building.

Online Dating

        I think that at one point in time or another, we have all checked out online dating. The problem is how online dating is defined. I personally wouldn’t restrict online dating to sites such as Match.com or eHarmony. I know plenty of people that met, and started relationships via Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram; these sites have a primary use other than meeting a future boyfriend or girlfriend. This is an important point to remember because it shows us that we aren’t just restricted to today’s traditional dating sites. 

         I’ve always looked at online dating in a taboo sort of way. We all know it exists, and so many people seem to meet on these sites, but who? Fortunately enough, my girlfriend’s mom and her boyfriend met over online dating. They knew each other before hand, and the site helped bring them together. Luckily, because they knew each other before meeting, some of the  stress and tension was reduced. Others aren’t as fortunate. Guadagno, Bradley, and Kruse report that men are more forthcoming on dating sites than women in most cases (Guadagno, Bradley, & Kruse). This is important when determining who uses these sites more for serious online dating. I could put forth a hypothesis that states that women are more likely to use dating sites as a casual way of “messing around”, and not exactly for obtaining any type of actual face-to-face relationship. Guadagno et al. also state that an individual of either sex is more likely to present a fabricated version of themselves to give off a certain impression (Guadagno, Bradley, & Kruse). I know from personal online experience that I strictly put things up that only help my personal image. Additionally, we all know people who are constantly posting about how amazing their lives are. We talked about similar situations in class; most people who seem the happiest online actually end up being the people looking for the most reassurance in relationships and possibly even in themselves. 

This can all be tied back to online dating because we are always looking for verification that we’re good looking, wanted, and generally desired by other people. I learned a lot through our exercise that online dating has a lot of factors that play into being matched with another person. I personally find it difficult to gain enough interest in a single person based solely on the amount of information they reveal online. In my experience, one girl responded to a question about drugs; the possible answers were yes, yes, but just soft drugs like pot, and no. She said yes, but how could I possibly know the context of her answer without speaking to her? Personally, I am not into girls who do drugs, but she could have been matched with me. However, because of her response, she should have been automatically eliminated. For me, this presents an issue as far as multidimensional matching processes.

All in all, it’s important to remember that all the people you meet online for the most part are real people. Responses can be misleading, and so can online conversation due to the noise involved in the mediums used. I would say that it’s important to be cautious but also open when trying to meet someone online.  

Online Dating

            Getting to know people online tends to be much easier than face to face.  When online, you’re able to trim the fat of most conversations and cut through many of the social norms that you might otherwise be unintentionally giving off or picking up.  This is congruent to what I remember when social media websites were just starting to take off. The most vivid example comes from using Myspace in middle school.  Attending an all boy school, we had the occasional Friday night mixers set up with our paired sister school and most people from each school knew each other, or knew of each other, through the use of the website.  However at the mixers, the guys and girls that would chat regularly online hardly interacted at all in person.  Whether it was because the guys would stand in one place in large groups or the girls pulling their friends away, the event set up to promote a social atmosphere fell short to guys and girls telegraphing indifferent social cues.  Although, of course, a couple hours later and the barriers were dropped and people were back to chatting online.

            In class today was the first time I had seen the inner workings of a modern dating website.  The way it was laid out again took me back to Myspace, where you could answer long surveys that posted to the front of your profile and fill in slots on your side bar that detailed personal information such as your income, body type, religious views, etc. The component of the dating site that shocked me the most was how open most people were to complete strangers.  For example, when trying to determine your compatibility to another’s profile, it allowed you to answer similar questions that the other person had, and would then show how you both stacked up; all of this before the other user has even responded to a message.  The most common ones I noticed people sharing were their views on sleeping together on the first date, whether they were open to having a kinkier partner, and whether the user had remained monogamous in their most recent relationships.  Even though I’ve thought dating sites were partially used for hook ups, the openness these websites offered before engaging in a synchronous chat still took me by surprise.

The Netflix documentary on online dating, When Strangers Click, put into perspective the way the Internet has evolved the manner in which people meet.  Living in a town such as state college for the last four years, one might forget that not every city is primarily made up of people the same age. The ability to meet others greatly diminishes once you consider most people hold a full time job along with numerous other obligations.  For those, online dating websites have played an integral role in connecting them to other people with similar values and interests.  In the documentary, it highlights a few instances of how people living thousands of miles away now have the ability to connect and get to know one another.  The draw to this style of dating is that the user has the freedom to use the medium any time of the day, and any place that has an Internet connection.

            Not every love story with online origins has the fairytale ending.  This past week, a California man notified police when a woman he had met and broke up with online, tried breaking into his house before getting stuck in his chimney.  Another woman from Georgia met a man online supposedly involved in chemical engineering and after talking for a couple months, she was persuaded into sending him money numerous times amounting up to $300,000.  Online dating sites can be a godsend to those who do not have the time or confidence to go out and meet people; however there are still dangers involved and the everyday user should exercise a fair amount of caution when revealing personal contact information.

Online Dating

Online Dating

I think my acceptance of online dating matches the public opinion of it. In class we mention that a lot of people put a disclaimer in their profiles that is along the lines of "I normally never do this kind of thing", and I think that is a holdover from a public stigma over the idea of meeting a romantic partner without a traditional first encounter. When websites like eHarmony and OkCupid started to catch fire, I think is around the time I accepted meeting people online as non-taboo, and then there was Tinder... I think Tinder is probably the best thing to online dating in terms of something that is one hundred percent normal in my eyes. While people on tinder are not all looking for their soul mate, the fact that people are reaching out and interacting with strangers through computer mediated technology in a romantic manner is important. Facebook, MySpace, and Friendster have been around for a while, but they were never "dating applications". Yes, people would meet through these websites in an intimate manner, but that was not the main purpose of these websites. Dating sites have a more serious connotation to them then something like Tinder, but Tinder made it "acceptable" or at the least "commonplace" to talk to then meet up with strangers on the internet. Tinder is a much shallower application then a dating site, but I think that simplicity is what attracted people to it. You do not even meet with these people, but you can in fact just chat them up and trade jokes (although admittedly someone will eventually be upset). Some Tinder matches do not even make it past the first exchange after "Hi". Tinder is simple and accessible, so I think those qualities are what made it a common app on people my ages phones; moreover, this common stranger "dating" app has removed all of the taboo I had personally associated with online dating. In fact; if I hear a couple met on Tinder I think less of them then a couple that met on eHarmony or OkCupid. The jury is still out on sugardaddy.com though.

Online Dating

We live in an age of technological advances at every turn. In recent years it seems that most aspects of human life can be handled by some sort of digital medium whether it be used in daily tasks business wise or being the doorway to social networking. The online social network has become so integrated into our lifestyle that it is hard to see a younger audience without some means of social networking. Online networking has evolved over the years and has begun to sprout out to individual mediums of socializing. With this evolution came the arising of online dating sites such as eHarmony.

Today in class we took a look at one of these sites, OkCupid and created a fictional profile to get to look around the site. Anyone who has dealt with these types of sites must have known immediately our account was fake based how our profile was based off of Michael Scott from the TV show “The Office”. It was pretty obvious which profiles were fakes or were made from others in our own class based on the profile information and time active of the accounts. It’s the creation of these types of fake accounts that I can see the downside of anyone trying online dating seriously. Personally I don’t think I would try or even like the idea of the online dating process.

Although I may not try it, that does not mean I don’t believe it can work. Online networking has opened up an entire spectrum of new ways to express ideas and emotions. Some comments one may not feel right expressing can now be made anonymously on most social media’s (though it doesn’t make the comment right). The groups of individuals who may not speak up in social situation suddenly can become vocal in a place where they don’t fear talking. These people, called sometimes introverts, now have a place to thrive and communicate without the fear of their shyness. The same goes for any social network. Facebook has become a socializing titan that creates a place where someone you may never hear speaks in person but online they speak everything on their mind (sometimes non-stop). Online dating sites such as OkCupid has provided a way for introverts to find that someone in their lives just like them. The told success stories you hear online from their commercials are somewhat believable from the thought of these people, too shy to talk in person, feeling feel to break the ice online.      

Although online dating can seem like a godsend to some, it can be serious trouble for others. We have all heard stories and seen shows based on the lies some online profiles can hide. Today was a proving point for such a thing. We created online profiles simply to observe the site, but some have been known to create a profile and play as the person. Disgusting as it can seem, the lies are not always that big. However some lies can be small on profiles like age, yet others can be a bit bigger like the use of misleading angles and picture filters to give an illusion of a certain look. While overall lying on profile pages is an annoyance at best, serious online dating site users may become frustrated or even hopeless in the process.  

All this being said, as I said before I personally would not try online dating. However the system does work. In general I feel that social networking has brought people closer than ever and open up a way to meet people you might not have ever met if not for online networks. Online dating may not be the way I prefer to do things, but who am I to judge if the system works? Technology has become a prominent part in our lives and with that comes help in all aspects, even dating. In the end, if online dating works for some couples than the system is a success.