Online dating stereotypes range, but one of the most common includes the lonely, overweight, jobless middle ager who still lives in his parents' basement and online chats in all of his spare time. He is a “loser," desperate, or simply socially incompetent in real life. Online dating is seen as a negative, almost rock-bottom low that people hit when they want to escape from their actual lives. The following link portrays this stereotype perfectly:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE6iAjEv9dQ
This stereotype is often seen as a humorous parody of online dating, but also a stereotype that creates an aversion to this form of courting for many. Of course this stereotype does not portray online dating completely accurately. It could be true in some cases; however, today, over 41 million people have tried online dating (http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/), and many relationships and marriages have grown because of it. People who are outgoing, fun-loving, and open-minded create dating profiles and find great satisfaction with the results. However, the stereotype, especially in this video, indicates many truths about online dating and online daters, showing us a bit about human nature when immersed in the online dating community.
One truth that the stereotype highlights is that online daters can escape the reality of their lives and portray themselves in a different way. According to researchers, many people photoshopped their profile pictures, and lied about some aspect of true information such as height, weight, and age (Hancock & Toma, 2011). People can hide whatever it is they are insecure about either in self-presentation on a profile, or through chatting and emailing, giving untrue information. These people may not completely lie about every aspect of their lives, but dating online eliminates the social cues that allow us to detect lies, or the ability to see the person in actuality. It also allows us to be able to lie a little and highlight our assets more easily.
Another truth about online dating is that it allows people to meet others without having to leave their homes. Whether you are a guy living in his mom’s basement or a young woman who just returned home from a 12 hour workday, you have a reason to be online dating instead of out meeting someone in physical proximity. These reasons are not necessarily bad, and range from a person not having the time to go out, to a person having a disability, to someone just not having much luck in the physical dating world and hoping to find someone better “out there.” Online dating creates a sort of fantasy world, where you can be someplace else more exciting, getting to know someone, while still being in the comfort of home. This experience is essentially the same, nomatter what the person’s motives for this are.
Lastly, the stereotype portrays the online dating world as a settling point- it's where you go when you want a face to face relationship, but cannot find it. Although many people do not turn to online dating when they are at the lowest point in their lives, it does seem, based on many recounts, that online dating acts as a sort of emotional substitute for real-life interaction. If a person cannot find love outside, they go online to find it instead; not the other way around. Also, people who start online relationships often try to move the relationship to face to face within some amount of time. The show “Catfish” for example, shows many people who are in online relationships who wish so much to see their virtual partners in real life, and may or may not be disappointed in the end. However, just seeing the person in real life helps to relieve their anxieties. Many marriages and actual face to face relationships result from online dating. Even the man in Brad Paisley’s music video longed to be with that blonde girl in real life, but he instead distracted himself by talking to girls online due to his lack of confidence. Of course we enjoy the talking, connecting, and sharing common interests part of the relationship which can be done online, but we also crave those social cues, affection, touching, and exchanging energies face to face. These elements put together and balanced creates the most fulfilling type of relationship.
The stereotype shows what can happen when online dating goes too far, or also when someone lonely simply wants a substitute for relationships. Online dating for other people though, exhibits some of these stereotypical qualities as well, which are important for us to be aware of. We may judge the stereotype but in reality, we all have the same needs! Online dating provides an avenue for us to express those needs, many times, in very similar ways. It actually serves as a “kick starter” (a word someone used in our class for hashtivism!) to actual dating. There have been many stories about couples meeting online and getting married, but not of couples meeting online, never meeting in person, and getting married! Online relationships help us in many ways, but cannot completely substitute for the real-life thing.
Just because it's funny: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DFR7M72wJY
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